First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize