I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
