BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
