yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
