You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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