my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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