I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
