Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
