In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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