this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize
