Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
