My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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