i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
