We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize