The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would fuck him just for his dog
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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