I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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