I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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