I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Acid is not a monday night drug
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
