today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
