What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
