I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
