nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
