this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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