At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
