One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
