I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
