I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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