If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
