i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
