I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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