Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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