he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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