is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
do nipples grow back?
Randomize