im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
