Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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