I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
