Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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