so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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