Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
