He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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