I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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