They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
