umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
