apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
