You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
