Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
pray to the hookup gods
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
