margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
