He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
