South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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