Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize