I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize