Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
