Ambien. No doubt about it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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