help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
