I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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