Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
