My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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