my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
