how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
