Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
