Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Boobs speak an international language.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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