nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I forget how to act sober
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
