Me too!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
