WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
