Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
