haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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