Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
