Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
