Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
