Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
